The Desiderata Valley Gazette: Vol. 1, Issue #1

Snarky is sad this morning, boys and girls. She is sad because she has failed you, dear readers. Try as she might to get the goods on the residents of Desiderata Valley, they were just too adept at keeping their skeletons in the closet. That being said, let's dish.

Desiderata Valley

The stormy weather in Desiderata Valley should have been a clue that my trip here would be bleak. Many of the residents stayed inside because of heavy downpours.

1097 West Leisure Lane - Picaso

Matthew and Jessica Picaso moved into a small home on West Leisure Lane and quickly shooed away the welcome wagon to get started on their family. Jessica's baby bump is a sure indicator that their romp was a success.

250 Main Street - Aspir

Luis Aspir can't stop taking in strays! First he let his son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter move in. Today, he adopted a mutt off the street named Tucker.

250 Main Street - Aspir

I've heard rumors that Luis dabbles in the occult, and now I have proof. Mr. Aspir has been hiding a genie lamp in his attic. His first wish was to resurrect his wife. However, her personality was as gray as her complexion, so Luis sent her back to the afterlife. He then decided to wish for "peace of mind." Luis is getting long in the tooth, so will his remaining wish keep the Grim Reaper at bay?

1055 East Leisure Lane - Jocque

Violet Jocque has a crush on her classmate Jack Kim, but parents Marcel and Sophia don't need to start saving for a wedding. Violet's friends say while the two have a little bit of chemistry, they are definitely not soulmates.

1050 East Leisure Lane - Bell & Wirth

Hannah: Girl, let me tell you, that ballet is paying off. Issac was the bomb last night!

Word to the wise, Hannah, don't brag about your husband's prowess to your very single sister, especially when she lives in your house.

1050 East Leisure Lane - Bell & Wirth

Sharon may not be into commitment, but she's also not a homewrecker. Rather than seeing if her sister's claims about her brother-in-law were true, she decided to find out if John Mole was also the bomb.

And that brings us to the end of this update. I don't even have a final tidbit to leave with you, so I'll be on my way to La Fiesta Tech. If the students there are as boring at the residents in Desiderata Valley, I swear I'm going to spike the punch!

A note from the Editor-In-Chief:
My original plan was to post every Sunday, but I found Desiderata Valley to be extremely boring. As a result, it took me longer to get through this neighborhood. I'm committed to blogging through all of the neighborhoods, so I will persevere!