Posts
Hello, boys and girls. This is Snarky Sparks, and I just got back from the campus of La Fiesta Tech, where cheerleaders run rampant and mascots attack!
Canyon Commons Klara Vonderstein is not getting in shape for cheerleader tryouts. She simply has no intention of becoming a Freshman Fifteen statistic. Her fellow dormies tell me she's on the exercise bike so much that they are starting to wonder if she's addicted.
Tri-Fuhm Sorority House Pledge season is starting up, and it looks like Blossom Moonbeam is the first prospect at Tri-Fuhm.
116 Aridestra Drive - Shifting Paradymes With Senior Year quickly approaching for Gunnar Rocque, the Shifting Paradymes are starting to audition for his replacement. Will the cow mascot make the band?
134 Aridestra Drive - Worthington Francis J: You're twenty-one? Twenty-one, my [expletive]! How did you get into this party, Tiffany? I know for a fact you're still in high school. Come back, when you're no longer [expletive] jailbait!
Oresha-Hoh-Var Fraternity House No one ever claimed that frat boys were the epitome of good housekeeping. Guy Wrightley pushes the five-second rule to the limit by snagging a slice a pizza off the floor.
Oresha-Hoh-Var Fraternity House La Fiesta Tech barely averted a legal nightmare. Maid Xavier Hurt says that the cow mascot assaulted him with a deadly pillow. The University issued a written apology to Hurt and offered him a "substantial" raise. Mr. Hurt agreed to drop his lawsuit, but the cow was slapped with an order to remain at least 100 feet away from Mr. Hurt.
Oresha-Hoh-Var Fraternity House It looks like the cheerleader also needs to get in on that restraining order.
Well, that's all for this relatively violent edition of The La Fiesta Tech Banner. Pleasantview is up next, so stay tuned!
No comments:
Post a Comment